The Church Font has discovered that there is a list of the countries hottest priests circulating around underground Catholic networks. The so-called ‘Holy Hot-list’, revealed for the first time here is proving popular among single Catholics, bored house-wives, and those suffering from forbidden-love disorder and Stockholm Syndrome.
Priests have been surprised to find themselves on it and more have been shocked to realise they’re not.
The list also comes with descriptions to aid the amorous on-lookers navigate the choices. While some of these refer to liturgical style and spiritual leanings, most focus on the physical.
The list is based on ongoing feedback and polling but at the time of going to print these were the top ten:
|Position||Priest and Parish||Comments|
|10||Fr Jamie Finch, North London||Hipster priest. Bald but makes up for it on chin. Short sleeve alb.|
|9||Fr Michael Askance, Norwich||‘Just call me Mike’. Voice like Carlsberg – reaches places. Kind face. Can use a tambourine like a pro.|
|8||Fr Ignacio Felicidades, South London||Latin American, moves across the sanctuary like it’s a dance floor. Used to be professional footballer. ‘You could be my hero, baby.’|
|7||Fr Willie Johnson, Cardiff||Aka ‘Willie-what-a-waste-Johnson’, has that dangerous edge. Apparently a great conversion story.|
|6||Fr Paulinus McGale, Oxford||Public school boy, went to seminary in Rome. Got everything, looks, body, traditions. Does own ironing, mostly lace.|
|5||Fr Gerard Maxwell, Leeds||Fr George Clooney.|
|4||Fr Rob McGuyver, Leicester||The thinking woman’s priest, intelligent, energetic, reads Guardian. Looks like Magnum.|
|3||Fr Danny Chadmeiser, Hooe||Brad Pitt in an alb, a perfectly fitted one.|
|2||Fr Phil Rogers. Birmingham||Built like Thor, face of an angel, winks at webcam. Even seven layers of clothing don’t hide those muscles.|
|1||Fr Nigel Finnick, Portsmouth||Looks like him off of Fleabag|
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