Survey finds ‘Kingdom of God’ sought thirty ninth behind ‘peace and quiet’, ‘comfortable pants’ and ‘softer pews’.

Thumbs and fingers holding a map
What are you seeking?

New research has found that Catholics don’t ‘seek first the Kingdom of God’, in fact it comes in at number thirty nine. The Institute of Ecclesial Statistics which conducted the survey said they were surprised by the results which had the Kingdom of God only narrowly beating ‘the pen that’s meant to be by the phone’.

In the top ten were, unsurprisingly, ‘a better job’, ‘a bit of peace and quiet’ and ‘the remote control’, while answers which ranked surprisingly low were: ‘World peace’ (not mentioned at all), ‘more holy days of obligation’ (which somehow scored negative 13%) and ‘change’ which ranked 3942nd.

The top three were as follows:

3 – The old Priest back

2 – A working heating system in church

1 – A good man

Max Freudenwahler from the IES said ‘We made it as easy as possible. The title of the survey was ‘The Seek First the Kingdom of God Survey of What You Should Seek’ but people only generally added it in when prompted at the end.’

When asked for comment, Cardinal Hemlock, Chair of the Vatican’s commission on the Kingdom of God, said ‘Yeah, that sounds about right.’

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